27 June 2006

What The World Needs Now Is Love, Sweet Love (CS)

One of my grandmother's heroes is in trouble yet again. With the disarray that the Republican party is in, that could be anyone, so let me clarify... Rush Limbaugh was recently detained for carrying a bottle of Viagra that was not prescribed for him (though he fully admits that they were for his use). Normally I'd read this article, have a bit of a guffaw at the "big, fat idiot's" expense and move on. But reading this article got me to thinking about the Republican/Right Wing's sex life. It's a dangerous topic, I know, littered with the potential for imagery that an active mind might have a surprisingly difficult time banishing from the imagination. By all means, I'll try not to get too graphic here, but I would still advise putting off reading this post until well after lunch.

That being said..... I mean c'mon, can you imagine any of these people sensible Americans (and citizens of the world) revile actually having sex? Limbaugh? Cheney? Rove? Bush? Would it be any surprise for you to learn that sex is an awkward and difficult (or even entirely forgotten) area of their lives?

It's no secret that the Republican party has problems with sex. They persecute it every chance they get. It is not just homosexual sex, either. Dan Savage, writer for the sex column Savage Love, has been chronicaling the Right Wing's war on heterosexual sex as well. The outcry over sex on television is always 100 times worse than any outcry over violence in the same medium. Birth control is considered a product of the devil. Etc, etc...

This is not to say that the Republicans are prudes. If the GOP should happen to come through your city, expect the underground sex industry to be booming while the so called social conservatives spend their days there. While many leftists protested the national convention in New York two summers ago, I know there were many a satisfied dominatrix and dungeon. But of course, they keep this a secret (just like Limbaugh said his pills were supposed to be, and thus not prescribed specifically to him). It's embarrassing to them. They just seem to need a little extra something, whatever that may be to... well... Get it up. With so much difficulty having sex of their own, it only makes sense that they would be jealous and try to make things difficult for the rest of us as well.

And all of a sudden, the war in Iraq and the general White House administration tendency to be aggressive assholes starts to make a whole lot more sense. The imagery of 9/11, strong erect buildings crumpling into piles of uselessness, carried a symbolism that probably hit a bit too close to home to many commanding power in the White House and on Capitol Hill. Being inadequate in one area of their lives, they've gone for a power grab in another to bolster their confidence. To put it bluntly, they needed to get their war on in order to more easily get their hard on.
Perhaps we should start an initiative to help these people out. Assure them that those freaky tendencies they hide behind closed doors are (in most cases) actually okay. Go ahead, let Mr. Limbaugh keep his Viagra... in fact, let's get some little blue pills to more people on the Right. With more time spent "loving" perhaps they'll have less time for all that hate.


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