02 June 2006

Who's Got The Biggest Balls of Them All? (CS)

There's been a lot of pissed off talk in my town lately about New York and Washington DC getting their anti-terrorism funding cut to levels below places like Utah, Hawaii, etc. Many have pointed out that what might have been important federal money used to stop terrorism has now become just general pork.
To try and excuse themselves from the incoming hate, Homeland Security has let fly with the idiotic excuses, including saying that New York got its funding cut because it has no high visibility national monuments or icons worth protecting.

Guys, please. Enough with the bullshit. I'd just like to say.... I understand! It's totally cool. Seriously, you don't have to make anymore stupid lies to excuse yourselves. Sure, us New Yorkers were attacked with the single most devastating and world changing act of terrorism in the history of mankind, but by the very virtue of being New Yorkers, we can handle it. We are tough bastards. And we aren't afraid. Remember all that talk about "not letting the terrorists win"? See, we actually try to prescribe to that and not live our lives in daily fear and would really rather our civil rights not compromised in exchange for "security."
I don't think DC should be that worried either. Even before the events of 9/11 and even excluding this federal terrorist prevention money, DC should be the most well protected place in the nation. How does a plane get flown into the Pentagon (the most well protected building) in the most well protected city in one of the most well protected nations on Earth, you ask? HAD to be a once in a iceage fluke.... Although it does hint at either some sort of crazy conspiracy inside job or at the very least the most appalling case of gross negligence and incompetence ever seen in this country....
But I'm sorry... I'm straying from my point.... And probably making people in the District nervous.

What I mean to say is, Go Ahead... Give all our tax money that might have gone towards protecting us to middle/southern/middle of nowhere America instead... The people that apparently ARE deathly afraid of terrorism and willing to compromise the country's ideals. It can be like their own green-tinted security blanket!

So sleep well, your corn fields and giant ball of twine will not fall to jihad! The painted dessert will remain... ummm... desolate! Hawaii's volcanoes will not be harmed. The Great Salt Lake will not be poisoned! Though I guess it doesn't serve as drinking water anyway... but ummmm.... yeah! Don't worry rest of America, the people of DC and New York are willing to be brave FOR you! We've got enough balls to go around. Of course, we would prefer that this money go towards alleviating poverty, improving education, helping the environment.... But hey, we can save that discussion for another time when you're comfortable enough to come out from hiding in your bomb shelters.


Blogger Candace said...

Thumbs up :)

12/10/2006 4:38 AM  

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