06 February 2007

Savage (Michael, not Fred) Mulls '08 Bid
Whippersnapp endorses paranoid madman for GOP nomination

Some days you wake up and everything just falls into place. Today is one of those days. The train pulled into the station just as I walked through the turnstile, the guy at the deli toasted my bagel just the way I like it, then I pulled up the ol' internets and what do I see?

No less than my favorite psychopath, Michael Savage, floating the idea of a run for the Republican nomination for President in 2008. O Happy Day!

Savage, or Michael Weiner as his parents named him, is an avowedly anti-gay, anti-immigration conservative radio host with the third-largest audience on talk radio, after Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. His style, which could be fairly described as outright cruelty, has won him legions of fans in the coveted "stupid goon" demographic, as well as, one assumes, a strong base of rubberneckers and gawkers among the more civilized segment of the American audience.

To casual spectators of the political circus, Savage is perhaps best known for a virulent rant on his short-lived MSNBC TV show, for which he was immediately fired:
"Oh, so you're one of those sodomites. You should only get AIDS and die, you pig, how's that? Why don't you see if you can sue me, you pig. You got nothing better to do than to put me down, you piece of garbage, you got nothing better to do today, go eat a sausage and choke on it. Get trichinosis. ..."
This all is highly interesting not just for the patina of martyrdom this bluster and subsequent shit-canning would impart to a Savage candidacy, but also for its incongruity to earlier chapters in the host's bio.

As a twenty-something writer in San Francisco -- Heavens! -- in the 1970's, Savage was well in with beat luminaries like Allen Ginsberg and Lawrence Ferlinghetti. A friend who knew Savage at the time, Stephen Schwartz, tells of a photo of Savage and Ginsberg swimming together naked, a photo which Savage would delight in showing off.

Some hard-line devotees of Savage may also be surprised to know that the drum-beating warrior of conflicts cultural and military alike is actually an academic with fancypants Masters' and Ph.D. degrees in fruity-sounding subjects like ethnobotany and nutritional ethnomedicine. This red-white-and-blue-blood also spent nearly a decade in the South Pacific studying plants and making out with trees like some common gutter hippie.

But as a media personality with a loyal following and unmistakably right-wing principles, Savage is an intriguing wild card for the Republican nomination for president. He is outspoken in his disdain for most of the party's high-profile announced or presumptive candidates like Sen. John McCain and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, and frequently derides figures like Bill Bennett and former House Speaker Newt Gingrich for espousing moral values while nursing a gambling addiction or going on three marriages, respectively (Savage himself has divorced and remarried once).

In a GOP horserace where the only conservative firebrands (Sen. Sam Brownback and Reps. Tom Tancredo and Duncan Hunter) range from listless to uninspiring and don't figure to arouse any enthusiasm from the conservative base, a colorful candidate like Savage, with nothing to lose politically and everything to gain as a star of his particular medium, could inject some life into the stodgy safety dance that's sure to go down between front-runners McCain, Romney and Rudolph Giuliani.

So we at Whippersnapp, in the name of entertainment and assuring the fair-and-square defeat of fringe right-wing politics in the marketplace of ideas heartily endorse Michael Weiner Savage for the Republican nomination for President of the United States. Good luck, Michael, and for God's sake keep talking.

Updated: Oh yeah, and he named his kid Russell Goldencloud Weiner. What the hell?

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22 Comments:

Blogger Craig said...

This is the same guy that refers to NYU students/alumni as "diaper doper babies." Whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean is beyond me.

2/06/2007 12:08 PM  
Blogger Brendan said...

Actually that's probably the one philosophical plank of his I could get behind.

2/06/2007 12:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Craig-

"Red Diaper Baby" means the son or daughter of a communist.

By calling them "diaper doper babies" I guess he means their parents smoked dope.

-Eric

2/06/2007 3:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wouldn't count on a Savage candidacy. I'm sure BuschCo is already digging up all the dirt on him in advance of a midnight counseling session chez Savage that will convince Savage of the wisdom of remaining on the sidelines.

2/06/2007 3:26 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

This is hilarious. Savage is the most hate-filled, orwellian man-pig that I've ever heard. I hope this twit runs. Bring it on, I say.

He is the symbol of everything that disgusts me about the extremist right wing. Ignorance, racism, fear-mongering, and incitement to violence.

During the Dem convention in Boston in '04, this wank actually tried provoking his supporters to come down and "bust some heads" of those "crazy liberals."

If by some way this boob gets the nomination (and pigs will fly), then America as we know it is dead. The gays will be the new Jews to this man. Get your jackboots ready.

2/06/2007 3:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would LOVE to see Weiner run for prez. What a hoot that would be! He'd have Brownback and Romney doing backflips trying to out-con him.

We'd see lovely platforms for the GOP like putting gays in concentration camps, locking up liberals and torturing them, etc.

Weiner is the heart and soul of true conservatism. I respectfully suggest that he choose Ann Coulter as his running mate. What a winning team that would make!

Weiner-Coulter '08!!

2/06/2007 3:59 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

given that weiner has probably dropped acid at some point, he's either a brilliant satirist or a cracked mystic.

2/06/2007 4:59 PM  
Blogger Del said...

when 'Savage Nation' was new, I picked it up, opened it at random and read it for at least an hour with my mouth hanging open. "Dad?" the kids kept asking. "what's the matter Dad?"

LET him run. lots of people don't believe me when I tell them how out of bounds those radio bozos are. let 'em see for themselves. as many who will whoop and holler many more will have the wool pulled from their eyes. Michael Savage represents all that is foul on the team that can and DO say anything.

my only hesitation is how "mainstream" Buchanan is now. there was a time when HE was the unhinged man.

2/06/2007 5:15 PM  
Blogger RWA said...

Please, please please let him run for President, under a huge Republican banner. Get him on every talk show, let him speak from every mountain. Put him on 60 Minutes, Meet The Press and The View. Let him espouse the real, deep-down Republican values, all the while wearing the big elephant on his shirt.

Yep, that should take care of the Republicans for awhile.

(As if they need any help sinking in the quicksand of the Bushes and the Cheneys and the Gingriches...)

2/06/2007 6:08 PM  
Blogger Philip said...

Also, when he is espousing about moral virtue we should all remember that Michael Savage's son is the founder of Rockstar Beverages, and Michael is a part owner. Rockstar is, of course, a sponsor of Girls Gone Wild and several other companies and organizations that promote conservative, moral values.

2/06/2007 6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If he can convince folks that his broadcasting career has been purely for entertainment value, he sounds like he's got the smarts and the cultural awareness that might actually float him up from the bottom of the Republican pile.

I can't stand the guy; I'm just sayin'....

2/06/2007 11:20 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

WE SHOULD THANK THE WACKY WEINER FOR ADDING MORE DIRT ON THE GRAVE OF THE NEOCON MOVEMENT.

2/07/2007 1:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LISTENING TO SEWAGE CAN BE LETHAL. LIBERALS ARE THE NEW "JEW", JUST SUBSTITUTE JEW EVERY TIME THE CHICKEN WINGS SAY LIBERAL, AND IT'S GERMANY IN '39 ALL OVER. GO SEWAGE, OVER THE TOP!

2/07/2007 1:54 PM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

I also wholeheartedly endorse Weiner. I'd adore him as the Gopper standard bearer.

Let it happen!

2/07/2007 2:41 PM  
Blogger Matt said...

It seems like Savage is a Teddy Haggard-case if you ask me. The one and only time I listened to his show he seemed obsessed with talking about the "San Francisco bath houses" and all the sinning going on in there.

2/12/2007 1:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

At least Savage recognizes the threat we're facing. Even if he was once a gay hippie tree-hugger, he's come to his senses now.

2/13/2007 3:15 PM  
Anonymous A True American said...

AT least he stands up for what America should be and you left wing pussies who don't give damn about the people who made this country what it is to give you the rights to be a homosexual or voice your opinions......you all will the be the first to be killed or converted by islamofascist AMERICA needs a real conservative in office....do i believe Savage will run...no but we do need someone of his values to stand up for this country and put it back to what it should be.....

2/14/2007 10:01 PM  
Anonymous Bill Bowman said...

I for one would love to see the Savage Weiner run. Why? Read my book, "Savage Lies: The Half-Truths, Distortions and Outright Lies of a Right-Wing Blowhard" (amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com) to find out.

2/26/2007 10:38 PM  
Anonymous B.P.O'LEARY said...

The only hope for this country lies with you ignorant fuckers putting out the joints and getting your heads out of eachothers asses. The Savage Nation is the last call of anything sane...you should realize this because it incites you so much. Try commenting on shit you actually know about. Shit like socialism, pandering and piercings. Fuck the republicans and Fuck the Democrats, the neocons and neosocialists...but most of all FUCK YOU you stupid fucking LIBS! WAKE UP AND SEE WHAT SAVAGE IS TRYING TO DO FOR AMERICA!

3/13/2007 1:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Michael Savage is the only sane perosn left in teh US with principles.

I HATE the libs and DESPISE the greedy, cowarldy republicans. I think Hilary and Mc Cain could run together, because I see no difference between these people.

Come on Michael, RUN!!!!

3/24/2007 10:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Savage won the freedom of speech award because he doesn't blindly follow a certain ideology. In fact, he was the only conservative to applaud Speaker Pelosi for touring the Middle East. He stated that problems are more likely to be worked out face to face. Given the Bush administrations trainwreck approach to diplomacy, I think someone like Savage would make a President. He is an intelligent. And for the record, he hangs up on people who make comments on his show that are ignorant, racist, sexist or homophobic. I think to call Savage a blow-hard, ignorant conservative is way off the mark. He is unlike any other political voice out there. He constantly criticizes the war and the Bush administration. My family members have completed four tours in Iraq. I respect a man who will step out of the comfort zone of his own party to criticize what is wrong about their policies.

4/13/2007 11:54 AM  
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